Swamp Witch - Gnosis

Swamp Witch are a band that intrigues me simply for the fact that they're one of the few bands ballsy enough to mix stoner doom with death metal (an idea that I've toyed around with for a long-ass time). These dudes pull it off perfectly. The ethereal guitar leads weave in and out of each other like phased-out electric eels writhing stoned in a big pile. The band can switch from the up-tempo to savagely heavy in the matter of a few measures. 'Gnosis' is short and to the point, spanning only three songs, Swamp Witch don't waste any time packing the riffs into each and every track. Get torched, turn this up and sink into endless couch lock as some of the most brain-rattling riffs thunder through your ear-pussy. SWAMP WEED For Fans of: Cough, Fistula, Incantation, Acid Witch

Belzebong - Sonic Scapes & Weedy Grooves

Massive, shambling stoner metal that swings that riff-hammer without bias. This skull-slamming EP rips out the tasty licks and continues to bring the thunder from the moment that you bit play to the very last fuzzy second. Surprisigly these Polish dudes grasp the southern swagga better than most of the knuckle-draggers stateside that have turned stoner metal/sludge into the second coming of shitty groove metal. Here that is not the case. Blaze up and tune out, this shit is coming for your soul.

BONGRIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIP

For Fans Of: Eyehategod, Bongripper, Grief, Seven Sisters of Sleep, The Sword

Weedeater - Jason...The Dragon

Well, up comes another offering from your favorite 3 bros with 29 toes and its haunting opener leads right into a slow doom whipper that crawls straight into Mancoon's ass slapping, beer swilling splendor. The vocals are very hit and miss but still deliver their message with biting southern piss and vinegar. You know the riffs have got to be fuzzy as fuck and those drums are punchier than your step-father. Prep yourself for one red-headed, white-knuckle ride through fog drenched mountaintops and goblin infested bong caves. Save a fat rip for this one, it'll kick your teeth in.

EAT DAT WEED

Part Chimp - Thriller

When it comes to noisy rock music of the stoned out variety, normally I know my deal but surprisingly this band slipped under my radar. Coincidentally I saw the cover of this record somewhere before and I tried to make a mental note to download/buy it somewhere but sadly (as my memory is rather shit these days) about a year later I still couldn't remember. Luckily Steve Brooks (America's Sweetheart of Torche/Floor fame) posted them on his page and my mind went all a twitter with excitement. Upon listening to it for the first time, it had everything I could ever want. Dreamy guitars with fabulously HEAVY low-end and nimble-but-punishing drums. The vocals slide and drip over this big stoner-sundae like 'butters drippin' ovah hot biscuits'. Nothing sounds better to my ears right now. Epic in every sense of the word.

Let me put it into words:

If the magazine 'Heavy Metal' had a soundtrack, this would be it. That's right; the only album ever to really match the awesomeness of monster slayin' babes and hunks behind the controls of a massive starship and maybe even a dragon fighting an eagle or some shit. It's just THAT good.


Imagine if you will, a world where Floor, Melvins, Big Business, Sonic Youth and Black Sabbath were all one and the same.

I'M GOING TO MAKE YOUR ASSHOLE LOOK LIKE A USED TIRE

Electric Wizard - Black Masses

All of you Doom freaks have been patiently awaiting the arrival of our sonic messiah: The Electric Wizard. He comes from on high with an extinction-level wave of feedback, a legion of snarling riffs at his feet. This album doesn't fail to deliver in any sense. If you're already familiar with the band, you know what to expect. Closing with a tale from our recurring anti-hero, Drugula; you know it's gotta be good.

CONJURE


Smoke Weed E'ery Day

Bongripper - Satan Worshipping Doom

My (2nd) favorite Instrumental Doom band from Chicago is back with another bowl packed tight with smokey riffs that will resin(ate) with your inner stoner. This album has massive swing and maximum impact on the ear drums. Pop it in on an expensive sound-system and feel the bass pull away your skin like a rabbit under a sandblaster. You'll feel the Earth's gravity pull your bones down until they're dust as this gargantuan record grinds your skin into a greasy stain on the floor.

PURE
FUCKING
WEED
SMOKIN'
DOOM

Behold! The Monolith

Good ol' fashioned heavy metal fun. Lately I've found myself drifting more into the party-realm of music and this definitely hits the spot. Check it out.

Protip: With a song title like 'Battle For Balls Deep' how can you go wrong?

SELF-TITLED


EP

High on Fire - Snakes For The Divine

High on Fire is one of the few bands around today that manages to catch the spark of old school metal and combine it with the ripping-riffage of Sludge Metal. Their newest effort combines these two things in such a potent brew that it's hard to believe it was released in 2010. Aspects of fantasy and substance abuse ooze from every oriface of this bongwater drenched epic produced by ex-Sleep guitarist Matt Pike. Each song is PACKED with epic moments and licks that will drive any metalhead howling to the moon. The opening track splits the sky with massive drum sounds and a Judas Priest-esque guitar line and then all hell breaks loose in the form of eathmoving riffing that leads into Matt Pike's trademark Lemmy-style growls that send you reeling from intensity. Then there's the song 'Bastard Samurai'; this bad boy has been clogging my ears since I've gotten hold of it. This is literally everything I want out of a metal song; massive riffs with awesome lyrics about Samurai's cutting down Yakuza dogs. It makes my Hanzo sword quiver with delight if you catch what I'm tossin'. If you consider yourself a metalhead of any sort go out and buy this; it's even going on sale for $7.99 at Best Buy with 3 extra bonus tracks and if that's honestly not a good enough price then you can go fuck yourself. These guys are and still will remain one of the best acts that metal will ever produce. For fans of Motorhead, Celtic Frost, St. Vitus, Sleep and Melvins.

PURCHASE

DOWNNLOAD